So there we were - 7 days overdue and hanging out in the delivery suite. I was wearing my birth t-shirt (see photo above) and bouncing on my birthing ball while DSO reclined in an easy chair next to me. We watched Series 1 and 2 of Seinfeld on our laptop.
My waters had been broken and at my insistence we were waiting to see if contractions would establish themselves, before resorting to the drip. We waited in vain for about 4 hours or so, and by the end even Jerry Seinfeld was failing to distract me. At one point I started looking through all the mysterious cupboards around the room.
In the first I found what appeared to be modular stirrups addition to the bed. It was very IKEA and I speculated what they would call it, maybe the GYNO? Anyway, I was in for more of a fright when I looked in the next cupboard to find a tray of instruments - all obviously designed to poke and prod vulnerable flesh! It reminded me of Lisa Simpsons visit to the dentist - “Now, this little girl is the poker, and this is the scraper, and this little beauty is the gouger!” After that discovery DSO banned further looking in cupboards!
By 2 o’clock I was sufficiently resigned to the fact that Tertia wasn’t coming out on her own so they put up the drip! In retrospect I didn’t need to be so frightened of the drip as I went on to have a very smooth labour.
In Australia we play a particular code of football called Aussie Rules. It seems strange in a world context but this game is an absolute obsession in our region of Australia. It dominates the news, social life and the hearts and minds of most locals.
The day of Tertia’s birth happened to be Grand Final Day - the biggest day of the annual football calendar. There was a tv in the corner of the delivery suite and although DSO and I are far from football fanatics we had the football on the tv, albeit with the sound off.
This had 2 beneficial effects:
1. Dr Ob had another woman in labour at the same time in another delivery suite but having the footy on the tv in our room meant he spent much more time with us.
2. It was the perfect thing to look at between contractions, I was vaguely interested and could be easily mesmerised by the movement and energy. I also got to look at the footy players smashing and crashing around and think - yeah, you think your tough but look at what I’m doing!
The weird thing was that the contractions started at the bounce, the game goes for 100 minutes and Tertia came into the world at the final siren!
By far the most surreal moment of the day was when Tertia crowned only to retreat again. I looked up at Dr Ob who said - “Oh she’s disappeared, don’t worry she’ll come back with the next contraction”. Waiting for the next contraction I noticed that both Dr Ob and the midwife had their heads turned away from me, watching the final moments of the game - for some reason I found this strangely comforting. In a few minutes, and at the final siren we delivered a beautiful and healthy baby girl.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. Firstly, Dr Ob for his skill and care during gestation and delivery - thank you for helping us bring three healthy and wonderful babies into the world.
Thanks also to DSO for being the best birth companion anyone could wish for, I expected the calm tenderness but who knew we could find so much humor in the day?
Finally, thanks Jerry Seinfeld - you really are a comic genius!
birth, labour, newborn, Seinfeld
