Sometimes I have to pull up Leisa when she tells people that she is weaning Baby Bear. That can’t be the case – unless by that she’s referring to her role in strategy and direction. When Baby Bear calls out for booby juice in the middle of the night it’s only DSO that can go ‘cos he aint got what she really wants. Which brings me to the Mission.
When I get the call in the wee hours, I make my way to Baby Bear’s lair. My instructions are to reassure her that she’s loved and safe and that the best thing for everyone (yeah, ‘cos she’s interested in the greater good!) if for her to just roll over and go back to sleep. And I can say, she is often quite happy to oblige – unless I try to leave the room.
It’s bad enough that one of my 40 year old knees sometimes crack like a whip when I turn to change directions – that’s my own built in obsolescence appearing and I can deal with that. What makes this mission particularly hard is the depths she’s gone to herself to prevent my exit. The floorboards creak and, with one-foot-wrong sometimes they bang louder than my left knee. The perspiration on under my feet can make the boards lift before they crash down. Also, she’s engaged Big Sis and Little Bro to leave a variety of tripping hazards on the floor which, in the darkness, might as well be The Bells of Notre Dame. However, more subtly, she has movement sensors at her disposal – no really! The house has an alarm system with a detector in each room. When it detects movement (as its maker intended), it flashes a series of red and green LEDs which in other circumstances would go unnoticed. But in an operation as delicate as this the room lights up like a Fisher Price activity centre.
Needless to say, any of these triggers bring my escape to her full attention and, unable to use language to ask me, in a measured tone, where I think I’m going she screams the house down.
I remember taping a shoe box over the movement sensor in Big Sis’s room some years ago. Maybe I should try that – but do I have to wait ‘til she’s asleep before I get up the ladder?
How do you sneak out of a child’s room?
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:54 am
Baby Bear slept through last night - does that mean I’m out of a job?
October 6th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I used to just try and run out of the room as fast and as quietly as I could. I think I’d still be patting Miss M’s back as the lower half of my body exited her boudoir. It’s amazing how far a human arm can stretch …
October 6th, 2008 at 9:56 am
And by anonymous, I mean me, of course!
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I tried the “look, what’s that?!” approach but it didn’t help. (For obvious reasons). The “Daddy’s gotta go. NOW.” rarely worked either. And nor did the “Sweet dreams” and gently prancing out the door.
What seemed to work (admittedly not with babies) was occupying them with something else: a cuddle toy, a book, music, a puzzle. Babies are a whole ‘nother matter.
(sympathy pain re: the knee too)
November 1st, 2008 at 6:19 am
I like the words “gently prancing” Pete. Very evocative, I know exactly what you mean.