Down with the kids

I find it fascinating how many totalitarian regimes rely on kids to rat out their families. It happened in Nazi Germany and during the Cultural Revolution in China, just to name two. Any parent will tell you, it’s no accident, Hitler and Mao knew exactly what they were doing! Kids are the biggest snarks around!

As soon as they can communicate you had better watch what you say and do, lest they broadcast it loud and wide at the first opportunity. I remember when Big Sis was just 2 and I was getting ready to go out, unable to find my boots I eventually located them behind the sofa and made a passing comment to DSO that they must have been pushed there by our angel of a babysitter, who (bless her) cleans up after the kids are in bed.

When the babysitter arrived Little Sis marched right over and said with an accusatory point of the finger - “You put my mummy’s boots behind the sofa!” It sounded terrible! While accurate in content, it conjured up images of me ungratefully criticising the babysitter and her services loudly, and regularly in front of the family!

Little Bro is not yet fluent enough to share his observations, but he has started observing - big time! Every detail, every day, is stored in his brain and he objects strongly when things don’t follow the regular pattern. The other day we went to the markets, quite a relaxed visit as Big Sis was at Kinder. I bought him a babycinno and as I carried across to our table I noticed a piece of Turkish Delight on the saucer, I quickly and discreetly removed it and concealed it in my hand (thinking along the lines of - what he doesn’t know can’t rot his teeth).

From across the room Little Bro must have been observing my every move because he immediately erupted in hysterics - until I returned the said sweet to his little fist! He still wasn’t content however, and made grumbling noises as he painstakingly turned the saucer slowly around 360 degrees checking that there were no other treats obscured by the cup!

After this performance I knew that it wasn’t negotiable when he spotted the clown ride which he rode on months ago last time we passed it (please see photo above). I found a $2 coin and popped him in the chair. He then insisted that when he came to the furthest point in the circular motion I ‘pretend’ to steal his nose - he remembered DSO doing this on his last ride months ago.

Finally we returned to the car, Little Bro relaxed with every box in his “what happens/what I get when I come to this market place” checklist. Now, if I could just work out a way to harness his power for good rather than evil!