Down with the kids

Try as we might, none of us come to parenthood without baggage and nowhere is it more obvious than the activities we choose for our kids. Music is one of those things for me. I have always been incredibly envious of anyone who can sing - I have kept all contributions to lip syncing since one particular moment in late Primary School when it became clear that I couldn’t, while others could, so to speak. My parents spent years sending me to piano lessons and I never quite mastered it, the theory was ok, it was just like maths - but my ear was terrible and I was never able to play a single piece from memory!

The lessons were torture, I never practiced and for some reason I never shared this with my family - who merrily sent me off for years on end! The only person more miserable in the scenario was, I suspect, my music teacher who was a middle aged man of Eastern European background of not insignificant talent. He used to sigh audibly as I arrived and treat me with thinly veiled contempt - occasionally shrieking at me “Can’t you hear it?” - which of course I couldn’t because I was, I believe, tone deaf!

So, how do I respond to these traumatic memories now I’m a parent? I am of course desperate for them to try, enjoy and succeed at music! Big Sis is showing signs of having a bit of a flair for it. She sings very tunefully and has recognised lots of tunes and songs from an early age. People who know about singing have noticed her ability to join in with harmonies and she is obsessed with her grandma’s piano. Her and her grandma sing and play songs together for hours!

The first question I had was how much of this stuff is learned and how much are you born with? Is there a music gene that dictates whether someone has a talent for music? The answer appears to be ‘probably’, although no one has isolated it yet. Some scientist speculate that such a gene will be isolated in our lifetime. I found this really interesting research project being run at the University of Newcastle Upon Tyne which is investigating a genetic link to amusia (what I glibly refer to as tone deafness). Check out the site and do the test - it gives you a sense of where you sit in the general population as far as hearing music! I wont discuss my scores here!

There are also a number of articles around that point to the development of music in prehistoric societies as an indicator for a biological basis. So, if there is a gene Big Sis may have it, she has her grandmother’s eyes so why not her singing prowess and musical talent?

My own speculation suggests that the gene isn’t enough, you probably also need an environment to trigger it, this folds into the incredibly interesting area of epigenetics, which suggests that genes need an environmental exposure to trigger them. So, if the gene is something like a particular mental illness then as a parent you want your kid to avoid environmental triggers, if the gene is an aptitude for music then we want to expose our kids to them!

The experts suggest that a child should always be exposed to a music rich environment. So you should try and play lots of different kinds of music around the house and in the car. Any activities that let kids play around with different sounds or instruments and encourages singing or dancing to music should be fostered.

But, the real question that every parent wonders about is when to start formal music lessons? In order for kids to learn to read music they should probably be at the stage where they are learning to read words, this also corresponds with a time that many kids learn to work or concentrate alone on quiet work as well as a developing cognitive ability to interpret symbols. So the earliest is probably 5 or 6 years.

Having said that there are some other systems that teach music without teaching kids to read it, they learn to play ‘by ear’. The most famous of these is the Suzuki Method, kids can start these classes as early as 3 years. Old school musical establishment say that teaching kids to play without teaching them to read music is not ideal as it limits their ability to participate in aspects of the music world later on. Although there are many examples of popular musicians who have never learned to read music!

The big caveat to all of this is the personality and interest level of your child. Kids have to be self motivated to learn by any method, so you need to wait until they have the gross and fine motor skills required for the instrument, are interested in learning and are prepared to sit alone and explore/practice. Most articles point out the risk of starting the kid too early and turning them off music for life!

Another interesting fact is that, until the age of about 10 or 11 years, the only instruments open to kids are piano and violin. This is because you can buy scaled down versions of the violin; all other instruments are only available in the adult size.

So what are we going to do? I’m concentrating hard on providing a musical environment for my kids. I make sure we listen to lots of different kinds of music and encourage Big Sis to play the piano and sing with grandma. I’ve enrolled Big Sis in a creative dance class called Lieto which a professional singer down the road told me has the most beautiful music and allows the kids to explore it creatively. She sends her kids along.

When Big Sis gets closer to 6 years we will get some kind of keyboard or piano and give her a try at formal lessons. I probably wont try the Suzuki route, once again part of my baggage! I was a victim of the 1970’s education system that didn’t teach us grammar. They thought (incorrectly as it turned out!) that the rules of grammar didn’t matter as long as we learnt to read and write! Anyway, because of this I’m a big believer in teaching kids the basic tools and will err on the side of giving them a chance with sheet music.

Having said that, if the kids didn’t respond formal music lessons, I’d probably try guitar lessons a bit later and see if we could get them hooked with a bit more of a group sing along casual thing as they approach the teenage years.

The question you have to ask yourself as a parent is: why am I doing this? I think I can honestly say that I want them to have a chance to enjoy music at whatever level and in whatever way they are capable. It is a friend that they can have forever, life enriching and nourishing for the soul, or at least that’s what those musical members of the community tell me!